Dear Arthur and Sandra:

Recently, my friend's father suddenly passed away. Since her family is Buddhist, in their house, they put up several shrines with fruit, idols, and pictures of her father, lights, incense, and a little box that continuously plays a recorded chant. Other superstitions that she has to follow in this time of mourning also affect the time we spend together. How can I use this circumstance as a witnessing opportunity? (Since it's apparent that her father was not a Christian and did not go to heaven, what can I say to her?)

Right off the bat, I'd say that you need to be praying to God about your friend. Since He is the Author of all of life (including your friend's), it would be good to touch base with Him and consult with Him as to what role He may want you to play in her life at this time. Someone once wisely said that before we talk to our friends about God, we should talk to God about our friends.

It's important to remember that the changing of one's heart is entirely the work of God; that is, we are called to throw the seeds of the gospel on the soil of our friends' hearts, but it is God that will cause the seeds to take root and transform their lives. We are all on a journey and need to be there for our friends, to help them on their way, to look out for them, and to point them to the only route that will not end up at a dead-end, namely, to Jesus.

It has been said that Christianity is better caught than taught. While I don't think that's entirely true, its point is well taken. Our friends may be more open to the teaching of Christ if they first experience the love and care of Christ through us and other Christians. Also, if we are to help our friends find hope amidst times of mourning and sorrow, we first must have that hope ourselves. We cannot give what we do not have. Thus, the way we normally live our lives has a lot to do with how well our friends will receive what we say.

As far as using this time as a witnessing opportunity during times of crisis, I have found that "time spent" and "love shared" are invaluable to the witnessing process. When you witness to someone, whether in crisis or not, you don't want them to ever feel as if they are a "project" of yours and that all you care about is trying to "convert them to your religion." You want to find ways of conveying that you love them and are concerned about THEM. They need to know and feel that. When they know that you are on the "same side of the table" as they are, then you can humbly but surely come in and share the Answer that they need, the good news of Jesus; and they will know that you are sharing the hope of Christ with them because you love them and you want what's best for them.

1 Peter 3:15 reminds us to always be ready to give an answer to anyone who asks you for the reason for the hope that lies within you, and do it with gentleness and respect. During times of trial, people are often sensitized to death, pain, purpose, life meaning, etc. They may be searching for answers and may be more willing to listen and consider the gospel than at other times. On the other hand, the pain may be so great, or they may be so angry that they don't want to talk about it. Your job is to come alongside your friend, "put your arms around her", be there for her, listen to her, try to discern where she's at, and then prayerfully determine the best course of action. If she's open to talking about eternal matters, then go for it. If not, then hold off until a better time.

Actually, I have much more to say but for the sake of space, I'll conclude my answer by saying that by earning your friend's trust, you are earning the right to point them to Scripture. Ask her if you can show her some words of hope that Jesus spoke and promised. When we point our friends to Scripture, they may not readily accept it at the time, but we are leaving His word on their hearts; and it is His Word that the Holy Spirit uses to change hearts and lives (see relationship between the Holy Spirit and His Word in Eph. 5:18-20, Col. 3:16) .

Hope this helps and I thank God your friend has a friend like you.