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Dear Arthur and Sandra:
Recently, my friend's father suddenly passed away. Since
her family is Buddhist, in their house, they put up several
shrines with fruit, idols, and pictures of her father, lights,
incense, and a little box that continuously plays a recorded
chant. Other superstitions that she has to follow in this
time of mourning also affect the time we spend together. How
can I use this circumstance as a witnessing opportunity? (Since
it's apparent that her father was not a Christian and did
not go to heaven, what can I say to her?)
Right off the bat, I'd say that you need to be praying to
God about your friend. Since He is the Author of all of life
(including your friend's), it would be good to touch base
with Him and consult with Him as to what role He may want
you to play in her life at this time. Someone once wisely
said that before we talk to our friends about God, we should
talk to God about our friends.
It's important to remember that the changing of one's heart
is entirely the work of God; that is, we are called to throw
the seeds of the gospel on the soil of our friends' hearts,
but it is God that will cause the seeds to take root and transform
their lives. We are all on a journey and need to be there
for our friends, to help them on their way, to look out for
them, and to point them to the only route that will not end
up at a dead-end, namely, to Jesus.
It has been said that Christianity is better caught than
taught. While I don't think that's entirely true, its point
is well taken. Our friends may be more open to the teaching
of Christ if they first experience the love and care of Christ
through us and other Christians. Also, if we are to help our
friends find hope amidst times of mourning and sorrow, we
first must have that hope ourselves. We cannot give what we
do not have. Thus, the way we normally live our lives has
a lot to do with how well our friends will receive what we
say.
As far as using this time as a witnessing opportunity during
times of crisis, I have found that "time spent" and "love
shared" are invaluable to the witnessing process. When you
witness to someone, whether in crisis or not, you don't want
them to ever feel as if they are a "project" of yours and
that all you care about is trying to "convert them to your
religion." You want to find ways of conveying that you love
them and are concerned about THEM. They need to know and feel
that. When they know that you are on the "same side of the
table" as they are, then you can humbly but surely come in
and share the Answer that they need, the good news of Jesus;
and they will know that you are sharing the hope of Christ
with them because you love them and you want what's best for
them.
1 Peter 3:15 reminds us to always be ready to give an answer
to anyone who asks you for the reason for the hope that lies
within you, and do it with gentleness and respect. During
times of trial, people are often sensitized to death, pain,
purpose, life meaning, etc. They may be searching for answers
and may be more willing to listen and consider the gospel
than at other times. On the other hand, the pain may be so
great, or they may be so angry that they don't want to talk
about it. Your job is to come alongside your friend, "put
your arms around her", be there for her, listen to her, try
to discern where she's at, and then prayerfully determine
the best course of action. If she's open to talking about
eternal matters, then go for it. If not, then hold off until
a better time.
Actually, I have much more to say but for the sake of space,
I'll conclude my answer by saying that by earning your friend's
trust, you are earning the right to point them to Scripture.
Ask her if you can show her some words of hope that Jesus
spoke and promised. When we point our friends to Scripture,
they may not readily accept it at the time, but we are leaving
His word on their hearts; and it is His Word that the Holy
Spirit uses to change hearts and lives (see relationship between
the Holy Spirit and His Word in Eph. 5:18-20, Col. 3:16) .
Hope this helps and I thank God your friend has a friend
like you.
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