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Dear Arthur and Sandra:
I'm struggling with whether alcohol is a gray area or
is sin. My husband thinks it's sin, but I don't. Yet, I want
to support him in his convictions. Could you help me think
through this?
I'll take a crack at your question first and then Arthur
can add what he thinks. I don't think this will be the last
situation and decision that you will encounter that seems
"gray". I think we call these situations and decisions "gray"
because there doesn't seem to be an absolute right or wrong
for everybody. Under further thought, most actions can neither
be ABSOLUTELY right or wrong. Murder is wrong, but didn't
God ask Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac? Lying is wrong,
but would you say it was wrong for Corrie Ten Boom to hide
the Jews during WWII? A given situation may seem "gray" for
a group, but I think it is NOT "gray" for the individual.
Arthur always says that any decision has to pass through
a grid. Given a person's priority hierarchy, you always make
the lesser serve the greater. What or who is it that you ultimately
desire to please? You can't please everyone and by pleasing
one person, you may displease another. The Bible says in James
4, "Adulterers and adulteresses, do you not know that friendship
with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants
to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God".
Never base your decision on the conclusion of others unless
you know absolutely that they are living according to the
same priority hierarchy that you have. Just because we are
all disciples of Jesus Christ doesn't mean that we all have
come to the same place in sanctification and walk with the
Lord. I am sure that there are millions more sanctified and
godly people in this world (past and present) than I. To do
the things and live the way I live may be permissible under
my conscience but to them it would be SIN.
Does it therefore make the life of a dedicated Christian
seem confining and prohibitive? By no means, the love, joy,
purpose and fellowship that they experience with the Lord
makes all that I do seem like a big waste of time. Very early
in our marriage, Arthur and I decided that the Bible would
be the absolute authority in any dispute or decision. The
Bible does give some very clear statements concerning how
we are to live in this world. In your situation, it is a slam
dunk. Your husband doesn't, so you won't. Not only will you
not drink, but you will seize the many opportunities that
will come when people ask you why you don't. Even if you just
say that my husband doesn't see the benefit in drinking, it
will already state 2 things about you: 1) You desire to respect
and live under the covering that your husband has provided
for you, even if it means submitting your will; and 2) you
are seeking something OTHER than entertainment, fitting in
with others, and your appetite. In your situation, it is not
"gray", it is very black and white. Once people are in tune
with their first, second, third, etc. loves in their lives,
they will know exactly why they do what they do.
I think you know or will soon learn that you can't have
everything in this life. The decisions that YOU will make
will open some doors and close others. The door that we will
always want open is the one that leads to 100% obedience to
the Lord. The Lord will make clear to us His will for our
life. It won't be acceptable or pleasing to most people and
it won't definitely be the general consensus of what "the
majority of Christians believe or do". He loves and guides
us individually and not in mass.
Sandra
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