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Hello Arthur!!

Hi. Well, I’ve been pondering over a question for a couple of weeks now and I was wondering if you could help me answer it.

Remember a few years ago, I think, when Heavenbound hosted an outreach night and it was combined with td? And you shared the message that night. I remember you started off your message asking the audience what their greatest fear was. Then you admitted that your greatest fear was the fear of death. I guess my question is just how did you cope with that? Especially now, since there was the thing in Virginia, and another massacre in turkey…I guess it just makes death sound so much more real and…deadly…? and…well, do you ever get the feeling that something like that could happen to you? I know recently I’ve just had bad dreams almost every night about gunmen coming into my house and shooting my family…and I know there’s a small chance that it’ll really happen, but there’s still a chance. Or do you sometimes think, wouldn’t it just be better to die so that you can be sure none of that would happen to you?

Well, I know that God’s always in control and ultimately everything that happens is for the best. I guess I just have death-o-phobia. I mean, I’m not scared about life after death cuz i have a reservation in heaven, but I’m scared of death in itself. Just the dying part. I’d [personally] choose to die peacefully at a ripe old age rather than being shot or stabbed. I’m not sure if this all makes sense…i just have a bunch of thought swirling around my little brain. …have a great week!! O, and thanks for your time. I know reading this e-mail must have been pretty confusing. =)

Hi!

Hey!

Great to hear from you! Thanks for writing to me and sharing about your fears. I do know what you're talking about, as I've had similar fears that you have, and, to an extent, still do. I have to go pretty soon, so I'll just share a couple of things.

1. It's ok and natural to fear the actual death experience, as long as you turn it over to the Lord and not let it turn into ungodly worry or paranoia.

No one likes to experience intense pain. It's why we feel uneasy and fearful when we know we're going to experience it. It's not natural to enjoy it. That's why it's called pain. Neither is death natural to the way God wired us.

You see, we when God made Adam and Eve, He made them to LIVE ... forever. We were made to LIVE ... with God. So when we ushered death into existence, we introduced physical death, and more importantly, death or separation from the object of our life, namely, God.

All this to say we were made and "programmed" for life, so now we live in tension with death, and always will on this earth. So, you're struggle with death is natural and is right, because you were not made for death.

Eccl. 3:11 tells us that God set eternity in our hearts; that is, we were made for eternity, not for mortality (death). Our heart’s longing is not only for our own lives to be eternal, but our relationships as well. That’s why it hurts so much when our loved one dies. Our relationship has been severed, when it was really supposed to be permanent. We are always longing for permanence. This give us a clue as to the real impact of our sin.

Now as far as our deaths are concerned, we really don’t know how we’re going to die, we just know we are. The fear of the unknown is real for all of us, because we always want to be in the know. What helps me out is the fact that while I may not know my future, I know the One who does. So, I put my hand into His (so to speak) and hang on tight (i.e. trust in Him with my life). He knows your future, and He promises you that He’ll never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

2. In fact, the if you look at the way many Christians have died violent deaths, what’s comforting is that the presence of God has been with them in a special way.

For instance, look at Acts 7:54-60 and you’ll see Stephen dying a violent death. Yet, God gave him a vision of Himself during his stoning, which gave Stephen so much peace and comfort that he asked for God’s forgiveness on the ones stoning him.

Accounts like that are too numerous to count. Just rest assured that God will be with you and will never allow you to encounter anything you can’t handle (1Cor. 10:13). Jesus instructs us, “And do not fear those who kill the body, but are unable to kill the soul, but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Matt. 10:28)

So, my encouragement to you is to talk with Jesus about your fear. If you think about it, it’s a good thing we don’t know when or how we’re going to die. Commit it to Him and trust Him. Matt. 6:34 reminds us, “Do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

3. When I was a younger Christian, I didn’t really look forward to heaven, not really, if you know what I mean. It’s only been in more recent years that my appetite for heaven has really developed, and where I can truly say that I’m looking forward to it.

When I shared my fear about death as a youth at the Heavenbound concert, the primary fear was with my parents dying, and secondarily, with my own death. As a youth, I was not a Christian, so I didn’t really deal with it. I just prayed to a God that I didn’t know and forgot about it until the next time the fears returned. I even had that nightmare about my parents early on in my marriage.

Well, as you know, one of those fears materialized 6 years ago when my father passed away … and yes, it did hurt, like nothing ever has. But by that time, I was a much stronger Christian, and I had the rock-solid anchor of God’s word supporting me. The support of my friends, family and Sandra was helpful in dealing with my dad’s death, but not even Sandra, my closest friend, could go with me to where I went with the Lord. I had to go there alone. It was God’s truth that met me there.

My mom is still with us, but is aging. I know her time will come as well. How do I deal with that?

Well, as you may remember me sharing, there are 2 anchors in my life that keep me going:

The first anchor is that God is in total and absolute control of everything in this universe. He can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants, however He wants, wherever He wants, and to whomever He wants. This assures me that nothing that happens, nor can happen, in this life without God first ordaining it to happen. There are no maverick molecules running around the universe that are outside His sovereignty.

However, a person who wields that much power and control is scary. Imagine if Satan had that kind of control and power.

The second anchor I have is that the One who wields that kind of power is also good, and is governed by His goodness. So, everything He does will work out for good (Rom. 8:28). I take comfort in that.

So, that’s how I cope with the thought of death these days. I sometimes have thoughts about losing some member of my family (Sandra or one of the kids), and that thought really hurts me and saddens me. I pray it doesn’t happen soon – I’d be a basket case – but I have to trust God for that. I hope you will too.

Don’t know if that was of any help, but please let me know, ok?

Blessings,

Arthur

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